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The Nerve Gap
Unstuck Monthly | October 2025
Why did he wait 18 months to fix what he knew was broken in week one?
The 18-Month Wait
Steven was promoted to director at a mid-size tech company, and within three weeks, he saw the problem clearly. The team structure was broken in ways that were hard to ignore: eight direct reports with overlapping roles, two talented individuals stuck in positions that didn’t match their strengths, and reporting lines that created bottlenecks where decisions should have flowed freely.
Steven could see all of this. He could diagram the dysfunction, name the organizational design issues, and explain why it wasn't working. But he was new to the role, and surely he needed to understand the full company culture and context first. There had to be history behind these choices, relationships to build, and leadership credibility to establish before making big changes. So he waited.
Eighteen months later, two of his best people left for other opportunities. Projects that should have taken weeks were taking months. The team was frustrated, and Steven was exhausted from trying to make a broken system work through sheer effort and goodwill.
Understanding Isn’t Enough
This was particularly painful because Steven understood the system problem from the very beginning. He understood attribution theory, recognizing this wasn’t a people problem where individuals simply needed to try harder. It was a design problem where the structure itself prevented good work from happening.
Steven had been through world-class leadership development programs, learning frameworks, models, and systems thinking to prepare managers for success. That knowledge is necessary because he (and many of us) need to diagnose what’s actually broken. But diagnosis without action ends up just sophisticated complaining.
Steven had all the understanding he needed within a month. What he lacked for the next seventeen months was something else entirely.
The Nerve Gap
What Steven needed was nerve—the courage to act as a new leader without having “all the context,” to trust his analysis even when he couldn’t explain every past decision, and to risk being wrong rather than staying stuck.
This is the missing piece in most leadership training and development. We teach frameworks for psychological safety, clarity, and systems thinking, but we don’t always teach leaders how to act when it’s hard, when they’re new, when everyone else seems fine with the status quo, or when making the change might fail.
Steven knew the structure was wrong but waited eighteen months. He had a deep understanding of his situation, but lacked nerve. For now.
What Changed
Two things shifted everything. First, Steven watched good people leave because of a problem he could have fixed, and the regret of inaction became more painful than the risk of change.
Second, Steven wrestled with a critical question: “What are you waiting for?” Was it permission? More data? Or just courage?
Steven needed coaching to develop nerve in three parts:
(1) Nerve is built through repeated practice: Start small.
Steven began voicing concerns in smaller meetings before the big decisions. He practiced being direct with one team member about performance before tackling the full restructure. Each time he did the uncomfortable thing and nothing catastrophic happened, the next hard thing felt slightly less impossible.
(2) Nerve is found in the reframe: Consider whether the bigger risk is action or inaction.
A breakthrough came when Steven reframed what he was risking. He’d been asking himself, “What if I’m wrong and this fails?” This evolved to a new question: “What if I’m right and I do nothing?” The cost of inaction suddenly became clearer than the risk of action.
(3) Nerve flourishes with accountability: Establish a deadline.
Steven established a clear timeframe for action. Moving from “someday when I have all the context” to “I’ll present a restructuring proposal by the end of Q2.” He made the commitment public, which created accountability that private intention never could.
Armed with new “nerve-y” behaviors, Steven presented his restructuring proposal at the end of Q2. Within three months, projects moved faster. Within six months, his team told him they'd been waiting years for someone to fix this.
Understanding + Nerve: The Two Things Every Leader Needs
Effective leadership requires both understanding and nerve, working together.
Understanding lets us see what’s broken. It gives us the leadership frameworks, organizational insight, and emotional intelligence to interpret what's happening and how to respond. Neuroscience helps explain why people behave the way they do in workplace ecosystems, and empathy helps us lead the humans behind the work.
Nerve is what allows us to act on that understanding. To speak up in the strategy meeting even when we’re the lone dissenting voice, making the hard personnel decision that previous managers have been avoiding, being explicit about success criteria and priorities even when clarity creates friction, and restructuring the team even when we're still new.
Leaders who have understanding without nerve stay stuck analyzing.
Leaders who have nerve without understanding create chaos by acting boldly but in the wrong direction.
The best leaders need both.
Thank you for sticking with me!
Until next time,
Alex
P.S. What are you waiting for? More context, more data, or just courage? Reply and tell me what you see that needs to change. Or forward this to someone who's been stuck in their own eighteen-month wait.
Self-reflection questions:
What system problem are you treating as a personal failure?
Where do you have understanding but lack the nerve to act?
What's the cost of waiting for "just a bit more context"?
What would change if you acted this week instead of waiting another year?
Ready to create your professional future on your own terms?
I work with ambitious leaders who want to transform their experiences into exceptional leadership capabilities. If you're done waiting and ready to act, book a call to explore working together.
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